Nesting mania

I'm realizing that there are many stages to pregnancy. It's almost as if you can experience an entire lifetime in this 9-month period. Initially you start out scared, completely dependent on anything but yourself. You don't know what to expect next and you can't quite get your feet under you. Then you start educating yourself and you gain some confidence. Throughout this journey, you are shedding off old parts of yourself, developing into a newer, more mature version of your once young self. By the time you enter the final months, you reflect back on what you have learned and realize that you are nothing like the person that started out on this scary adventure. Overall, I am really thankful for this process and praise God for molding me over the past 7 1/2 months. I'm feeling more and more ready for this process called motherhood.

Okay, now that I typed the positive stuff and have tried to acknowledge what I have gained so far...let me confess about this nesting mania that has taken over my life. Wow! They weren't kidding! As many of my closest friends and family know, I am not exactly an organized, neat individual. I tend to leave trails wherever I go and my car is usually weighed down by 100 pounds of leftover trash, books, makeup, etc. But something takes over you when you are approaching the final days and weeks of pregnancy. From a mental health standpoint, (sorry I had to go there), it is somewhat a sick form of obsessive compulsive disorder. A heightened neuroses...I have started making lists of everything I feel needs to be done before little Bella arrives. These lists drive me nuts and have resulted in hormonal meltdowns. Sorry Beau! Each room I walk into only makes the lists bigger as I see never-ending projects that I think need to be completed before her arrival. I've begun to keep a tidy kitchen, and I now know how to use the vaccuum cleaner! Lysol wipes give me more enjoyment than my iPhone. Disgusting huh?!? Amazing that I feel the need to clean and finish all these projects when Bella won't even know the difference when she arrives.

In addition to nesting mania, I'm struggling with the lack of independence that this pregnancy has created. When my doctor told me to not lift over 20 pounds and stop exercising as much as I have been, a large piece of me has been put to rest! Ha! You see, I've always been the strong girl, the one girl who people don't seem to go out of their way to assist. My husband knows this best; we literally have never hired movers to help us. He knows that I can hang! But now, this weird phenomena has taken over where people all around me rush to open doors, lift something for me, and help me get up off the couch! It is really odd! Well I guess I should savor it, because it is all going to end in about 10 weeks.

Alrighty, overall, I love the growth and what I'm experiencing. Yes, I continue to struggle, but I am very grateful for all the difficulties as well. I do feel the growing pains...yep...I'm growing up. It is nice. I want to be as ready as I can be for this little girl. Can't wait to meet her.