Last Saturday Beau and I took a trip to the "See me now mommy" ultrasound clinic to find out the sex of our baby. Prior to the appointment, I was definitely feeling quite nervous and restless. It first started with a nightmare that I was having a boy! Ha! Yep...I said nightmare. Not sure why it was so scary to find out we were having a boy, but I sure woke up terrified at the news my dream revealed to me. I also found that the hours that led up to my afternoon appointment crawled at a pace much slower than how my grandmother drives. Ugh! It felt like we missed every green light as we were driving to the appointment and happened to get behind every "poker/Sunday afternoon stroller" driver in the whole wide world. Yep... I was definitely being impatient. Blame it on the hormones!
Well we FINALLY made it to our appointment with my best bud Monique alongside us. The ultrasound started and after about 5-10 minutes of baby Rummel stubbornly crossing its legs and kicking in every direction that it wasn't supposed to, the lovely ultrasound tech asked if we wanted to know the sex. Um...YES! Of course we wanted to know the sex. She then started to reveal her answer and as she formulated each word in the sentence to come, I could feel my pulse begin to race in such a way that I felt as if my heart was going to burst right out of my chest. And then the answer we were waiting for came...LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE HAVING A GIRL!
A girl! A girl! No way! That is what I thought...honestly...I asked God at that moment, "How could I deserve a girl?" "How could I possibly get to have a girl?" "How could I be so blessed to get what I wanted?" Then God answered by giving me such a peace at that moment I asked those silly questions. And truly I believe He answered by letting me know we were having a girl as a symbol that He is in total control and is blessing us during this journey since our miscarriage in January. All in all, I truly felt like we lost a girl during that miscarriage...I truly feel like God let me know that at that moment. It gave me a real peace and a sense of closure from the immense grief of January's loss.
The lesson I have learned and am continuing to learn is that we don't always understand why God allows us to fall and cry...bleed and hurt. January's miscarriage didn't make any sense at the time. However, through every trial, there is a blessing and revelation around the corner that God has in store for all of us. I encourage you, my friends, to hang on through the storm, because what awaits is so much greater than anything you can imagine.
Back to the ultrasound...
After we were told what we were having, I really don't remember anything else that happened during the ultrasound. I just hugged my husband when it was all done and felt very blessed, happy and excited for what was to come.
Great blog Blaire boy have I learned about that "control" word. You think you are over it, and then you are under it, then surrounds you and you have those around you trying to instill it on you. I received a card from a friend 15 years ago that said "God is in control" boy has that journey been a struggle. These last two years I have been avidly studying Gods word and allowing Him to direct my path. In the middle of chaos I have been able to find peace by resting in His arms. God used Jer 29:11 to guide me in my times of struggle. He constantly reminds us that He knows the plans he has for us. He will prosper and not harm us and he will give us hope and a future which includes His peace. I am so excited that you are having a baby girl, how great it is that God predestined you both to be her parents and even knows her name. God bless you and your family. Debbie Campos
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