Let's not forget about the guys

When you think about pregnancy, you typically picture a female with a big belly, a cute little baby being born some time soon, and fancy nurseries/baby rooms. You might picture the upcoming baby showers that include the pregnant mom-to-be and all of her girlfriends surrounding her with silly baby games and gifts. And on a more serious and dramatic note, when you think of a miscarriage, you might think about a mourning woman trying to understand why such a loss occurred. Maybe other things that I didn't list here come to mind when you think of these two things, but what I have come to notice is that one very important person is missing from the equation.

So God put it on my heart to give a shout out to this guy I know...he is kind of tall and muscular...and bald. He's my husband Beau. And he has definitely been put on the back burner during the miscarriage and this pregnancy experience. Not that I have intentionally put him there, but nonetheless, I have definitely let him be overshadowed in the past 10 months. And he truly, without a doubt, deserves to be up front and center.

In January, when "we" miscarried, he lost the potential to meet his son or daughter. A son, who probably would have been muscular just like his daddy. A son, who would have been blonde, blue-eyed, and curly haired. A son, who would have been stubborn, smart and determined just like his daddy. A daughter, who probably would have been muscular like her daddy. A daughter, who would have been blonde, blue-eyed and curly haired. Yep...Beau lost out on the chance to be a daddy on this Earth to a son or daughter. But unfortunately, a lot of the attention and concern was put on the female in the situation. Me.

When I have been overwhelmed by fear and concern about miscarrying during this pregnancy, I have only thought about my discomfort and not his. For each bizarre symptom that has occurred over the past few months, I express it to him seeking concern and support. But I haven't thought about how it might grip at his own heart and make him pray out that this baby is okay.

And over the past few months, I have been whiny about nausea and tiredness, bloating, etc. I haven't felt sexy or interested in appearing sexy. I would much rather sleep than make my husband feel special.

So babe, Beau, I give you a blog shout out. I apologize for pushing you out of these two experiences and not understanding that you are in this just as much as I am. I am so thankful that God and you have chosen me as your wife. You have been my absolute backbone since day 1 of our relationship. You push me when I am too afraid to budge and you quickly pick me up when I fall down. I thank God for you and your love and I can't wait for you to be a daddy to a blonde, curly-haired, muscular, stubborn little boy or girl in April. I will work on doing better at not forgetting that you are here and are experiencing this right alongside me. I love you.

In summary, let's not forget the guys. Yep, us women might have to suffer the nausea, backache, fatigue, weight gain, etc. But our men experience those hurts too, just in a different, less physical manner.